Spongebob's Modern Life
by xandermartin98
Summary: It's Spongebob with a twist: All of the characters act very reminiscently of the character cast of the Rocko's Modern Life series, which predated Spongebob by five years. For example, Spongebob acts a lot like Rocko, Mr. Krabs acts like Mr. Smitty, Squidward acts just like Mr. Bighead, Patrick acts just like Heffer, etc. It turns out there is actually a reason behind all of this.
1. A Very Dangerous Day

One morning, Spongebob woke up to the sound of his alarm clock screaming at him.

"HEY! GET UP, YOU FOOL! I'M TIRED OF WAITING! THEY DON'T PAY ME ENOUGH FOR THIS NONSENSE!" the alarm clock yelled.

"Umm...no one pays you at all, right?" Spongebob replied.

"EXACTLY!" the alarm clock yelled. "NOW GET TO WORK!"

Spongebob woke up and patted Gary's shell. Gary meowed, then went back to nibbling on Spongebob's carpet. Spongebob swung the door open so excitedly that it almost left a mark on the wall, before sliding down his crooked wobbly staircase.

Spongebob went to the bathroom to take a shower. As he washed, he grabbed his beloved soap bar. The lubricated, slimy soap bar slipped from his grip, ricocheted off of every wall, floor and ceiling in the room, and hit him in the eye.

"NO! Not the soap! OH GOD NO NOT THE SOAP! AAAAAAAAAAA! OH, it's in my eyes! MY EYES! AAAAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

THREE MINUTES LATER...

Spongebob finally finished screaming, turned the shower off, and went to the mirror. Suddenly, the mirror cracked.

"Aw, cockamamie barnacles..." Spongebob groaned.

Spongebob had a huge zit on his face! He took some painkiller, cut the zit off with a clean pair of humongous garden scissors, and applied zit-removing toothpaste to the remaining zit area. After the zit faded away, Spongebob took the remaining toothpaste off of his forehead and used it to brush his teeth.

"Now that's what I call a nice set of pearly whites if I do say so myself." Spongebob said, smiling.

Spongebob put on his Goofy Goober underwear, put his work pants on, and walked into the kitchen to get some cereal. As he poured the cereal, a prize spilled out of the box.

"Oh, a prize!" Spongebob exclaimed. "I wonder what this is?"

Spongebob realized that it was a time bomb! "In case of emergency, break glass!" Spongebob remembered out loud. He grabbed one of his decorative rocks and tossed it into the window, breaking the glass. Then, he used his Goofy Goober underwear as a powerful slingshot, slinging the bomb straight through the window.

Unfortunately, the bomb blew up Squidward's flower garden and damaged Squidward's house. "Spongebob! I'll get you for that someday! Just you wait! You brain-dead flunkie! You wouldn't know how to appreciate another man's property if it smacked you upside the head!" Suqidward yelled.

"Oh, I'm very sorry, Squidward. Is there any way I could make it up to you?" Spongebob asked.

"Since when have you done ANYTHING good for ME?!" Squidward asked.

"Boy, don't you think that's a little harsh?" Spongebob asked.

"Enough small talk!" Squidward yelled. "I'm out of here! See you at work, you stupid piece of garbage! Ciao!"

AT THE KRUSTY KRAB...

Squidward was busy reading a magazine at the cash register. "GET BACK TO WORK!" Mr. Krabs yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Y-y-yes...master..." Squidward whimpered, almost wetting himself.

"MAN UP, LOSER!" Mr. Krabs yelled again.

Spongebob was busy flipping patties. Mr. Krabs came in and lectured him.

"Supply and demand, Spongebob...you flip patties. The customers eat them. It's an endless cycle. But if you break that cycle...THEN YOU'RE FIRED! NOW START COOKING THOSE PATTIES FASTER, BOY! THE ORDERS ARE COMING IN FAST! TIME IS MONEY! PICK UP THE PACE! NOW! DO YOU HEAR ME!?"

"Y-yes, Mr. Krabs..." Spongebob replied.

"I sure hope so..." Mr. Krabs replied, slamming the door.

DURING LUNCH BREAK...

"Boy, I sure am exhausted." Spongebob thought to himself. "My meanie boss pushes me way too hard. There should be more than one person doing the food service. I might be good enough to handle it on my own, but I need to breathe a little..."

Suddenly, Patrick busted through the door. "Hey, Spongebob! Do you know where I've been while you've been working your butt off?"

"Where?" Spongebob asked, gritting his teeth a little.

"On vacation at the Goofy Goober amusement park! Hee hee!" Patrick replied.

Spongebob grabbed Patrick by the shoulders and pulled Patrick's face toward his own. "You big fat cow! Why didn't you tell me you were going to that place, hmm?"

"Umm...well, I didn't think Mr. Krabs would let you take a break from your job, being the jerk that he is." Patrick replied.

"Actually, you have a good point there, my friend." Spongebob replied.

"Are you talking about me behind my back, Patrick?" Mr. Krabs asked.

"Uhh...NO! We were talking about that dork Squidward! Huh huh!" Patrick replied nervously.

"You better not have been talking about me..." Mr. Krabs replied menacingly.

Patrick burped and grinned absentmindedly, giggling. "So, uh...Spongebob? would you mind making a few more Krabby Patties for me?"

"But you just ate three!" Spongebob replied.

"Yeah I know but I'm still hungry! PLEEEASE?" Patrick whined.

Spongebob sighed. "Okay, okay, I won't let you down...no more patties though, you understand?"

"Huh? What did you say? I didn't hear you." Patrick replied.

"I SAID NO MORE PATTIES!" Spongebob yelled.

"Okay." Patrick replied.

FIVE MINUTES LATER...

"Gee whiz, Patrick! Would you kindly keep your mouth shut and chew a little more thoroughly? You don't want that delicious taste to go to waste now, do you?" Spongebob asked.

"I eat it fast because it tastes so good!" Patrick said with food in his mouth.

"But you're not even taking the time to savor the flavor!" Spongebob asked.

"Who cares about flavor? At least I have taste! Hee hee!" Patrick said, blowing his nose on a napkin and setting it down on top of Spongebob's napkin pile.

"If you had taste, you'd show some manners!" Spongebob yelled.

"You mean like a weenie? MAY I TAKE YOUR HAT, SIR? MAY I TAKE YOUR-"

"Okay, that's enough overrated memes for today." one of the customers said, covering Patrick's mouth.

"OVERRATED MEMES ARE MY LIFE!" Patrick yelled.

Spongebob grabbed Patrick by the shoulders again and stared right into his eyes angrily. "Patrick, would you please get these temper-tantrums under control? I'm quite frankly a tad sick of all this pointless incoherent babbling. Why, if I was President, I'd make it so that rambling on and on about pointless tripe is illegal! I'd make it so that gluttony is illegal! And I'd make it so that greed is illegal! I mean, what use does the world have for these big stupid jerks who only care about making money! I say 'to heck with them'! A true undersea democracy has no place for the pathetic likes of these miserable penny-pinchers! Why, A TRUE UNDERSEA DEMOCRACY THAT GUARANTEES THE FREEDOM OF ALL NATURAL-BORN CITIZENS AND IMMIGRANTS HAS NO PLACE FOR A GREEDY, SNIVELING SOCIOPATH LIKE MR. KRABS!"

Suudenly, Agent Tom Smith appeared. "WOULD YOU STOP TALKING ALREADY? JEEZ, YOU'RE SCARING MY BABY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! YOU'RE LUCKY MR. KRABS DIDN'T HEAR YOU TWO IDIOTS OVER THE MUSIC HE WAS PLAYING AT FULL BLAST IN HIS OFFICE! NOW GET LOST BEFORE I REPORT YOUR MAJOR DISTURBANCE IN THE DAILY SCHEDULE! GO ON! SHOO!"

Tom Smith threw both Spongebob and Patrick out the front door. Luckily, Spongebob and Patrick had somehow made intelligent clones of themselves to do their jobs for them while they were away. Don't ask me how.

"So what do you think we should do now?" Patrick asked.

"I don't know...OH! I KNOW! Let's take a visit to Sandy's house!" Spongebob said excitedly.

AND SO THEY WENT OFF TO SANDY'S TREEDOME...


	2. Camera Shy

Spongebob and Patrick knocked on the front hatch of Sandy's Treedome.

"HELLO? IS ANYONE HERE?" Patrick yelled.

"Shh! Not so loud, Patrick!" Spongebob whispered.

Sandy appeared on the screen in the entrance tube of her Treedome.

"Oh, there you are, Sandy! Tee hee!" Patrick said with delight.

"Yes, yes, I'm here, now what do you want? I'm a little gosh-darned busy if I do say so myself." Sandy replied.

"Umm...can we have a tea party with you, mate?" Spongebob asked.

"Nice try, pal. You can't fool me. I've seen wallaby cowpokes living in Ohio who are more Australian than you!"

"Ohio? But you lived in Texas." Spongebob replied.

"I have a rocket. I can go anywhere I please." Sandy replied. "Anyways, that's beside the point. Why don't you come on in?"

Spongebob, Patrick, and Sandy all seated themselves at the table.

"So, what've you been up to lately, miss?" Spongebob asked, taking a sip of tea.

"Nothing much." Sandy replied. "I've been collecting a lot of recyclable cans. In fact, I've been keeping a whole stash o' them in my basement."

"Say, where did you get those glasses you're wearing?" Spongebob asked, taking another sip.

"Oh, these?" Sandy pointed to her goggles which looked like glasses. "These are my night-vision goggles in disguise. They ain't too pretty, but they're the best pair o' goggles I've got. Now I can see you at night!"

"Well, that's a little creepy, isn't it?" Spongebob asked, swallowing yet another sip.

"Yeah, I hope you don't see us naked! Hee hee!" Patrick yelled.

Spongebob, shocked, spat out his drink all over Sandy's face; luckily, Sandy was still wearing her suit with the helmet on. "Quiet, Patrick! You're embarrassing us!" Spongebob whispered to Patrick.

Sandy wiped the tea off of her helmet. "Now, now, boys, why would I ever do that? I'm pretty sure I already have seen you two running around in the nude at least twice...ugh." Sandy explained.

Sandy continued speaking. "Anyway, there's something I'd like you two to do for me tonight. See this camera? You two will be using it to take some photographs of the local wildlife and deliver them to me. However, no goofing off, understand?" Sandy explained.

"Yes, sir! Hee hee!" Patrick responded.

AT 8:30 PM:

Spongebob and Patrick received their camera from Sandy. Because Sandy trusted Spongebob more than she trusted Patrick, only Spongebob received his own pair of night-vision goggles. They had also dressed themselves up with ski masks, black rubber gloves, black suits and black shoes.

A cop drove by and noticed them standing near Sandy's Treedome. "Hey, what are you two doing trespassing on Sandy Cheeks's property?"

"Um, nothing, sir. We were just about to go on a wildlife research tour!" Spongebob explained.

"Okay...well don't do anything too fishy. And don't stay out in the wild after 11:00 PM unless you're camping." the cop explained before driving off.

After taking research photos of typical things like coral plants and jellyfish nests, Spongebob and Patrick started getting ridiculously immature with their photos.

Patrick and Spongebob took photos of each other's butts, followed by a photo of Spongebob's nose hair. Spongebob took a photo of Patrick's back hair. They even took photos of their eye crust (which was packaged into two separate labeled jars labeled "Spongebob" and "PaTRiCK"). It only went downhill from there.

AT 11:00 PM:

Spongebob and Patrick came back to Sandy's Treedome.

"Good work, boys." Sandy complimented them, yawning. "It's time for me to hit the hay, okay? I'll see you boys tomorrow."

"Are you kidding? We can't stop now!" Patrick replied.

"Well, I sure can. I'm beat. I need some good old rest." Sandy explained.

"Can we still use the camera?" Patrick asked.

"Uh...sure, whatever. Just don't do anything stupid with it. I've got to upload the photos to my research partners tomorrow morning." Sandy explained. "Goodnight, folks."

AT 11:29 PM:

Spongebob and Patrick had made their clones hide behind Sandy's tree using cloaking devices. When Sandy told Spongebob and Patrick to leave, the clones turned their cloaking devices off, becoming visible to the naked eye and walking out the front door of Sandy's Treedome.

Sandy understandably mistook the clones for the real Spongebob and Patrick. Meanwhile, Spongebob and Patrick were waiting outside Sandy's window like complete perverts. Patrick was holding the video camera.

"Do you think she'll do it tonight?" Spongebob asked, still wearing his night-vision nerd-glasses.

"Of course she will! It's like clockwork!" Patrick replied; Spongebob put his hands over his own mouth and giggled, trying not to laugh.

"Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness _one of the seven wonders of the world._" Patrick began, with the camera facing himself. Spongebob looked toward the window, biting his own jaw to stop himself from laughing.

Patrick continued. "At about 11:30, _eastern Pacific time, _through **this **window...our friend Sandy will descend the staircase as she does every night for a glass of almond milk."

Patrick pointed the camera at Spongebob's face, as it was Spongebob's turn to speak. "And, well, she isn't exactly dressed for the occasion..._if you know what I mean..._" Spongebob was trying really hard not to smile but couldn't help it.

Patrick pointed the camera back to his own face, giggling. "Yup. You heard right. She's COMPLETELY..._**NAAAKEEED!**__" _With that last word_, _Patrick did a grin that was so huge that his face started to hurt.

_"With no clothes on!" _Spongebob replied overexcitedly, leaping right in front of the camera screen out of nowhere with his eyes sparkling like an overdramatic anime girl.

Suddenly, Spongebob and Patrick heard Sandy whistling and turned the camera's attention to the staircase. They saw Sandy walking down the staircase naked, and they were filming a video of it using the camera. Luckily, the camera had a "censor" feature that covered her naughty bits using a pixelation effect.

As Sandy reached her refrigerator and drank some almond milk straight from the carton, Spongebob and Patrick began to giggle like little schoolboys. To top it off, Patrick even let loose a _wolf whistle_: "WHEET-WOO!"

Hearing Patrick's loud whistling, Sandy immediately spat out her drink and turned her head around. Patrick and Spongebob ran away just fast enough to where Sandy couldn't see them. Luckily, the clones had left their cloaking devices ready for Spongebob and Patrick.

Spongebob and Patrick used the cloaking devices to turn invisible and hide from Sandy.

"Hmm...that's weird. I could have sworn I heard someone whistling...guess it's just my imagination." Sandy said to herself.

Spongebob and Patrick both ran out of the Treedome as fast as possible once Sandy went back to bed.

"OH MY GOSH! SHE SAW US! I THINK SHE SAW US!" Patrick yelled while running.

"OH NO, OH NO, OH NO, OH NO, OH NO..." Spongebob said while sprinting.


	3. The Return Of The Camera

The next morning, Spongebob and Patrick woke up and returned to Sandy's Treedome, delivering the camera to her.

"You didn't put anything ridiculous on this, did you?" Sandy questioned.

"Uh...NO! No siree!" Patrick answered.

"Um...yes. We're being completely honest right now." Spongebob answered.

"Hmm...well let's just see what my fellow trio of researchers on Spongebob Island has to say about THAT!" Sandy responded. With a click of her mouse, she uploaded the files to the Three Guys.

"Wait...what exactly is Spongebob Island?" Spongebob asked.

"You know...that little dot-sized island with palm trees on it?" Sandy replied.

"Um...yes." Spongebob answered.

"Well, Spongebob Island is a new man-made member of the Bikini Islands underneath which you live. The Three Guys have set up a secret research base there." Sandy explained.

"Uh...who are the Three Guys?" Patrick asked.

"That is highly classified information." Sandy answered.

Suddenly, the Three Guys intercepted Sandy's upload.

ON SPONGEBOB ISLAND...

"Crikey!" Guy 1 said. "What in the blazes is this nonsense?"  
"Hee hee!" Guy 2 said. "That was funny! Play it again after I go get more snacks!"  
"WOW..." Guy 3 said. "Those are some very...INTERESTING specimens...if ya know what I mean...still not quite as good as cheese"

BACK IN BIKINI BOTTOM...

The Three Guys sent an email reply to Sandy about the video. Sandy read the reply.

"That was hilarious and very...revealing about the true nature of sea creatures. Also...you were completely NAAAKEEED and had NO CLOTHES ON! LOL that reminds us of a very familiar moment from our lives XD"

Sandy chuckled, but not evilly. "Heh...I knew you were going to pull something stupid like this...that was actually why I gave you so much freedom with the video camera, to see what you would do with it. Say, aren't you two supposed to be at work today?"

"We have days off on the weekends." Spongebob hastily replied.

"Really?" Sandy wondered. "I don't remember you having days off on the weekends at all...interesting."

MEANWHILE, AT THE CHUM BUCKET...

"I've exhausted every single evil plan in my evil filing cabinet!" Plankton sighed.

"What about Plan Z?" Karen asked.

"NO, I'VE ALREADY TRIED PLAN Z!" Plankton yelled.

"Well, you don't need to be so rude! Kay?" Karen replied.

"Hmm...why have you suddenly started saying 'Kay' all the time?" Plankton asked.

"You know...I'm not really sure." Karen replied. "Kay?"

"Stop it!" Plankton growled. "Okay, look, here's what I'm mad about. Are you following me, camera guy?"

"Yes." the camera guy replied.

"Good." Plankton replied back. "Look, I'm supposed to be threatening! I'm supposed to be evil! I AM SUPPOSED TO BE THE GREAT EVIL MASTERMIND KNOWN AS...PLANKTON."

"Well, Plankton isn't a very threatening name, kay?" Karen replied. "Here, how about some holographic meat loaf?"

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF...FINE. If you're so desperate for me to eat it then I'll eat it." Plankton groaned.

BACK AT THE TREEDOME...

"You see, this research project of ours needs funding." Sandy said. "You'll need to find a higher-paying job so that you can make more money."

"Alright!" Spongebob and Patrick said.

SPONGEBOB AND PATRICK TRY VARIOUS JOBS...

First, Spongebob tried being a leaf blower...but he accidentally blew leaves into Sandy's face. Then, he tried giving Squidward a foot massage...but Squidward was too ticklish and "accidentally" kicked Spongebob in the face.

Next, Patrick tried being a driver...but his road rage got the best of him.

Then, Spongebob tried being a specialty phone operator.  
"Oh, baby, oh baby, oh baby."  
"Spongebob?"  
"SANDY?"

Finally, Patrick got a job where you stand in front of a huge rock, do nothing, and look big and important. He got one thousand dollars just by standing in front of his own house.

BACK AT THE TREEDOME...

"Okay, let's see how much dough you guys made...holy ravioli! ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS? How on Earth did Patrick make that much money in two days?" Sandy said.

"I stood in front of my house like a statue." Patrick explained.

"Well, anyway, it's time to bring this money to the researchers as funding." Sandy explained.

"Aww, but I wanted to buy stuff with it!" Patrick whined.

"I'm sorry, but we must use cash repsonsibly." Sandy explained. "If a job's worth doing, then it's worth doing adequately."

Sandy used Patrick's credit card to transfer the money to the Three Guys. The Three Guys sent her a thank-you note in exchange.

"Thank you for the cash. We are getting ready to go underwater. See you down there!"

"Good." Sandy said with a sigh of relief.

MEANWHILE, ON SPONGEBOB ISLAND...

"Man, why does everything always have to have Spongebob's face on it nowadays?" Guy 1 asked.

"Well, it was pretty bad a few years ago, but I think the trend has died down a little...I could be wrong though." Guy 3 sighed.

"It's just...man, the general public might not believe this, but my show was just so much better than Spongebob's! In fact, my show was literally too good to be on Nickelodeon!" Guy 1 explained. "Why couldn't it have landed on Adult Swim, huh?"

"I dunno, because...because people are stupid?" Guy 3 sighed.

"Hey, I'm hungry!" Guy 2 yelled. "Where are the snacks?"

"They're in the fridge, you fat moron! Where else do you think they would be, huh?" Guy 3 angrily replied.

"Okay, guys, calm down." Guy 1 replied. "It's time for us to put on our S.A.N.D.Y. suits and go down to Bikini Bottom!"

AFTER PUTTING ON THE SUITS...

"Does this make my glasses look redundant?" Guy 3 asked.

"No, my friend, it really doesn't." Guy 1 answered.

"Does this make my butt look fat?" Guy 2 asked.

"Your butt is already fat, fat butt!" Guy 3 answered.

"Hey, no need to be rude." Guy 1 replied. "Ready?"

"READY." Guy 2 and Guy 3 answered.

AND SO THEY DIVED DOWN TO BIKINI BOTTOM...


	4. Three Guys

The Three Guys put on their S.A.N.D.Y. suits, secured their helmets, and dived down into Bikini Bottom.

"I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous..." Guy 3 began saying over and over again while diving.

"Oh, COME ON!" Guy 2 yelled. "The water's fine!"

"Yeah, what's the deal with you getting sick over everything?" Guy 1 asked.

"I'm hypochondriac. Also, I'm Jewish." Guy 3 answered.

"What does being a Jew have to do with being a nerd stereotype?" Guy 1 asked.

"Well, maybe a little bit...you never know." Guy 3 answered.

"Gosh, haven't we talked enough? I'm getting bored already!" Guy 2 said.

"Just be patient, man. We'll be there soon." Guy 1 explained.

SEVERAL "ARE WE THERE YETS" LATER...

"Okay, we're here. Are you satisfied now?" Guy 1 groaned.

"YAY!" Guy 2 yelled.

"Boy, that sure took longer than I hoped it would..." Guy 3 muttered to himself.

AT SANDY'S TREEDOME...

"Hello, mate." Guy 1 greeted Sandy.

"Hi, Rocko." Sandy replied.

"What? But I thought you said their identities were supposed to be secret!" Patrick yelled.

"Everyone needs to know who these three are at some point, you silly goose!" Sandy teased. "Guy 2 and Guy 3, introduce yourselves, please."

"HELLO, MY NAME IS-" Guy 2 started yelling.

"Shh! Not so loud, Heffer!" Rocko said.

"Oh yeah, that's right! My name's Heffer! Pleased to meet you, Spongebob and Patrick! Hey, Sandy, you got any snacks for me? I'm starving!" Heffer explained.

"Hey! I've had enough of you, Heffer...I swear, if you ask for snacks ONE more gosh-darned time, I swear I am going to take this PLASTIC Ziploc bag loaded with _**MY**_ _**YELLOW URINATIONS **__and ram it straight down your stupid fat throat!" _Guy 3 ranted.

"Oh yeah, Guy 3 is Filburt." Rocko explained. "He can be a little...weird at times; but if you get to know him, he's a real great guy. Just don't make fun of him for his glasses."

"Say, Rocko...why have Spongebob and Patrick been acting so much like you and Heffer lately?" Sandy asked.

"Well, you see, it was part of a little secret experiment we did." Rocko explained.

"Secret experiment?" Sandy asked.

"Yeah, you know...it's like an experiment...but it's secret?" Heffer explained.

"She KNOWS what it is, you fool!" Filburt yelled at him.

"FILBURT! No need to be so abusive toward other people! Heffer has mental disabilities, you know!" Rocko yelled.

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT? HEY, AUSTRALIAN, WHY DON'T YOU AUSSIE IT UP A LITTLE?" Filburt yelled.

"Oh, THAT'S IT!" Rocko yelled. "LET'S RUMBLE!"

ONE DUST-CLOUD BRAWL LATER...

"Ignore Filburt." Rocko explained. "He's got a permanent wedgie."

"It hurts, Rocko..." Filburt moaned.

"Anyway..." Rocko continued, "you see, this was part of our plan all along. We always knew that Spongebob and Patrick, particularly Patrick, were based off of me and Heffer."

"Hey, who are you calling a pinhead?" Patrick asked.

"I've always wanted to be like you, Rocko..." Spongebob explained.

"Thanks for the compliments." Rocko said. "Anyway, my point is, we decided to put a special chemical into Bikini Bottom to make everything that happened there feel like a mix of our show and yours. The irony behind our plan was the fact that your show was always inspired by ours. Yes, our show was the original, and nearly every single thing that your show did...actually was, or could have been, done better by ours."

"You mean like that time when Spongebob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs tried to steal Mrs. Puff's panties? Versus that time when Heffer and Filburt recorded you sleepwalking naked on video camera?" Sandy asked.

"Wait...how did you know about that embarrassing moment of my life?" Rocko asked, blushing.

"I've seen all of your episodes! I'm one of your biggest fans, you know." Sandy explained.

"Heh heh...oh my, well, I was hoping I would never have to speak of that again. Anyway, it's been nice talking to you. See you later." Rocko concluded.

Rocko, Heffer and Filburt turned around and left.

BEHIND A BUSH...

"Sandy's seen me NAKED?!" Rocko wondered, feeling horribly uncomfortable.

"_COMPLETELY_...**_NAAAKEEED..._**"

"Okay, that's enough of that!" Filburt said hastily, covering Heffer's mouth. "Also, aren't you kind of being a hypocrite right now, Rocko? I mean, come on, seriously, you just saw Sandy naked."

"Anyway, that's beside the point. Our plan is successful so far, isn't it?" Filburt asked.

"Yes, it has been, actually." Rocko answered. "Case closed."


	5. Say What Again?

News suddenly reached Bikini Bottom that Plankton was formulating a plan to build a giant robot and destroy the entire universe; it was strongly rumored that Squidward somehow had a part in it.

Later at Squidward's house, Squidward was trying to organize things while Spongebob was annoying him to no end.

"SPONGEBOB! Would you stop irritating me so much!?" Squidward yelled.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?" Spongebob asked. "Please, continue. You were saying something about...good intentions, right?"

"Um...YES!" Squidward answered; he was tied to a chair.

"What's the matter?" Spongebob asked. "Oh, you were finished? Oh, well allow me to retort."

Spongebob dramatically stared deep into Squidward's eyes as he mouthed out the following question: "What does Sheldon Plankton look like?"

"WHAT?" was Squidward's response.

Spongebob flipped the coffee table like a boss. "WHAT OCEAN ARE YOU FROM?"

"WHAT?"

"WHAT isn't no ocean I ever heard of! Do they speak English in WHAT?"

"WHAT?"

"ENGLISH, SQUIDWARD, DO YOU SPEAK IT?"

"YES!"

"Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes!"

"DESCRIBE what Sheldon J. Plankton LOOKS like!"

"WHAT?"

Spongebob raised his lethal BB gun. "SAY WHAT AGAIN! SAY! WHAT! AGAIN! I dare you, I DOUBLE DARE YOU, TENTACLE SUCKER! Say 'what' ONE more flipping time!"

"He's...green."

"Go on!"

"He's small and one-eyed!"

"Does he look like a good guy?"

"WHAT?"

Spongebob shot Squidward in the shoulder with his BB gun. "DOES! HE! LOOK! LIKE! SOMEONE WITH GOOD INTENTIONS?"

"NO!"

"That's all I wanted to hear." Spongebob said before untying Squidward.

"I'm sorry, Spongebob!" Squidward yelled. "I'll never mess with you again as long as I live!"

Spongebob locked Squidward inside Squidward's house, planted bombs that would be set off if he tried to break the walls or windows, and set off for the Krusty Krab.

"SPONGEBOB! PATRICK!" Mr. Krabs yelled. "MAN THE BATTLE STATIONS OR YOU'RE FIRED!"

Spongebob and Patrick both put on army hats. Spongebob manned a laser gun turret on top of the Krusty Krab, while Patrick set up a barricade of rocks around the restaurant.

"Hey, everybody, look at me!" Spongebob said, drawing attention to himself. "I'ma firing my laser! AT NIGHT."

"Um, actually, it's daytime, Spongebob!" Patrick pointed out.

"Yeah, I know, I was just pretending it was night time because, well, night time is cool. Heh-heh." Spongebob explained.

"Yeah, night time is cool. Huh-huh." Patrick replied.

"STAY ON THE LOOKOUT, BOYS. IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR JOBS DONE TODAY, THEN I MIGHT NOT GET MY PAYCHECK TOMORROW. SO STAY FOCUSED!" Mr. Krabs ordered.

"Roger that, sir." Spongebob replied.

"Copy that, hee hee!" Patrick said in response.

AT THE TREEDOME...

Sandy had received an email order from Rocko, Heffer and Filburt.

"SANDY. Activate Bikini Bottom's defense mechanisms. Plankton is in a human-sized robot suit up on the moon and is charging up energy to destroy the universe. While Spongebob and Patrick defend the Krusty Krab from Plankton's zombie apocalypse, we're ordering you to take us with you on your space shuttle rocket. We possess incredible fighting skills. Trust us. We can stop him with our space armor."

"Okay." Sandy replied back using her email account. "Get over here quickly."

The Krusty Krab was under heavy attack by hordes of zombies. Spongebob was gunning them down with his laser turret while Patrick was throwing rocks from the barricade at them. Bikini Bottom's numerous death traps (built by Sandy) took care of the rest of them.

However, one of the zombies turned out to be a ninja pirate zombie robot; his power level was over nine thousand. Spongebob dialed up the laser power for this one.

"FULL POWER!"

"MORE POWER!"

"MAX-I-MUM POWER!"

Spongebob charged his laser up so much that when he fired it, it caused an atomic explosion. The Krusty Krab was in pieces.

"HERE, BOYS!" Mr. Krabs yelled. "TAKE THESE LASER MACHINE GUNS!"

Spongebob and Patrick charged straight through the zombie horde, shooting lasers all over the place like a future-age double Rambo on steroids while flaming buildings burned in the background. Bikini Bottom could not hold out much longer.

MEANWHILE...

Rocko, Heffer and Filburt had reached the Treedome. "Get into my rocket! Quickly!" Sandy ordered them.

IN THE ROCKET...

"Wow! All this machinery is beautiful, Sandy! Where'd you get it?" Rocko asked.

"Thanks for the compliment, Rocko, but there's really no time for that." Sandy explained.

"Ooo, WOW...look at all the pretty flashing lights and colors!" Heffer yelled. "What does this button do! It's big, red and shiny!"

"DON'T TOUCH IT!" Rocko yelled, pouncing onto Heffer and tackling him onto the ground. "Never press BIG, RED, SHINY BUTTONS, you got that? That could have been a self-destruct button for all we know! Heffer, be more responsible!"

"WOW...you're an idiot." Filburt told Heffer.

"Filburt, would you stay out of this?" Rocko responded.

"Okay, we're here!" Sandy yelled. "The Moon! Wait a minute...LASER ATTACK! We've been hit! We're going down in 5...4...3...2...1..."

At the very last second, all four of them leaped out of the emergency exit in slow motion as the rocket exploded. "I can fix that..." Sandy reassured them. "Maybe..."


	6. The Big Darned Fight

This was it. The final battle. Rocko, Heffer, Filburt, and Sandy. All four of them were laying there, on the Moon. Gathering all of their strength, they stood up.

"This is it, foul abomination! Eat...whatever it is we're cooking!" Filburt dramatically yelled at Plankton.

"Boo!" Heffer yelled at Filburt.

"HEY, IT'S BETTER THAN ANY STUPID ONE-LINER YOU COULD COME UP WITH, HEFFER!" Filburt yelled back.

"Enough talk!" Plankton yelled. "I AM BECOME DESTROYER OF DESTRUCTION AND CHAOS!"

Rocko interrupted him. "Umm, excuse me, sir, isn't that a double negative, what you just said? Because you see, if you destroy destruction, then you are actually restoring-"

"SILENCE!" Plankton yelled. "I'm TIRED of being thrown into the same stupid show over and over again, TIME AND TIME AGAIN!"

Filburt interrupted him again. "Um, pardon my interruption, but isn't that a little redundant-"

"SHUT YOUR MOUTHS ALL OF YOU!" Plankton yelled. "I am forced to do the same stupid things day after day! I am SICK AND TIRED of trying and FAILING to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula from Mr. Krabs! Eat dirt, maggots."

Plankton charged at them and punched them in the face, no mercy.

"That's it, you asked for this, mate..." Rocko growled, using his ultimate martial-arts combo attack technique which he learned from Chuck Norris's book of Knowledge. Leaping into the air like a true kangaroo, he punched Plankton in the face, roundhouse-kicked him in the gut, and tail-whipped him right in the groin.

Plankton reeled backward only to get owned again by Sandy's karate moves. Finally, Filburt retracted his entire body into his shell. Heffer, Rocko, and Sandy combined their force to kick Filburt's shell like a Koopa shell. The shell hit Plankton really hard, knocking the wind out of him.

"That's it!" Plankton yelled, his armor slightly damaged. "You asked for it! I'm about two minutes away from charging up enough energy to destroy the entire universe! You fools will cease to exist! Adios, amigos!"

"Oh, no you don't..." Filburt whispered.

Down in Bikini Bottom, Spongebob was busy playing Through The Fire And Flames on his superpowered Goofy Goober guitar; the zombies did not stand a chance against the sheer awesomeness of him and his axe.

Up on the moon, Filburt was preparing himself for the ultimate transformation.

"Oh my ever loving God, what is he DOING?!" Sandy yelled.

"The forbidden technique!" Heffer yelled back. "I forget what it's called, but he calls it the greatest and cheesiest power transformation known to man! Speaking of cheese, my stomach's feeling a little low on gas..."

"YOU WANT ME? YOU'VE GOT ME!" Filburt yelled at Plankton.

Suddenly, Filburt started transforming! He transformed into...THE CHEESE?!

The Cheese began his long attack monologue. "I am the cheese...I AM THE CHEESE. I! AM! THE CHEESE! I AM THE BEST CHARACTER ON THIS SHOW! I AM BETTER THAN BOTH THE BALONEY AND THE SALAMI COMBINED!"

"You think you're so tough?! HA!" Plankton yelled. "Let me see what you've got!"

"Don't listen to him! Sandwiches are good!" Heffer yelled.

"THROW EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT AT HIM!" Sandy yelled desperately.

"YOU HEARD THE LADY!" The Cheese yelled at Plankton. "I'M GOING TO THROW EVERYTHING I'VE GOT AT YOU!"

"I'VE GOT ALLEN WRENCHES, GERBIL FEEDERS, TOILET SEATS, ELECTRIC HEATERS, TRASH COMPACTORS, JUICE EXTRACTORS, SHOWER RODS AND WATER METERS, WALKIE-TALKIES, COPPER WIRES, SAFETY GOGGLES, RADIAL TIRES, BB PELLETS, RUBBER MALLETS, FANS AND DEHUMIDIFIERS, PICTURE HANGERS, PAPER CUTTERS, WAFFLE IRONS, WINDOW SHUTTERS, PAINT REMOVERS, WINDOW LOUVRES, MASKING TAPE AND PLASTIC GUTTERS, KITCHEN FAUCETS, FOLDING TABLES, WEATHER STRIPPING, JUMPER CABLES, HOOKS AND TACKLE, GROUT AND SPACKLE, POWER FOGGERS, SPOONS AND LADLES, PESTICIDES FOR FUMIGATION, HIGH-PERFORMANCE LUBRICATION, METAL ROOFING, WATER PROOFING, MULTI-PURPOSE INSULATION, AIR COMPRESSORS, BRASS CONNECTORS, WRECKING CHISELS, SMOKE DETECTORS, TIRE GAUGES, HAMSTER CAGES, THERMOSTATS AND BUG DEFLECTORS, TRAILER HITCH DEMAGNETIZERS, AUTOMATIC CIRCUMCISERS, TENNIS RACKETS, ANGLE BRACKETS, DURACELLS AND ENERGIZERS, SOFFIT PANELS, CIRCUIT BREAKERS, VACUUM CLEANERS, COFFEE MAKERS, CALCULATORS, GENERATORS, MATCHING SALT AND PEPPER SHAKERS!"

Filburt's attack caused the entire universe to explode, and all of the Rocko and Spongebob characters were trapped in limbo.

"Filburt...you really _had _to make a Weird Al reference, didn't you?" the god of cartoons sighed.

"Oh, sweet mother of Neptune...what on Earth just happened?" Spongebob wondered.

"The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma." Patrick rambled.

"Hey, Filburt!" Rocko yelled. "The Simpsons would like to have a word with you!"


End file.
